In my prayers, shamefully i've been just doing it for the sake of doing, not really be mentally and spiritually involved with my words and movements. This has been going on for maybe 10-20 years? i dunno. I only meant and thought about the meanings of the wordings i say during prayers when i have something i really-really wish to have or really-really wanted God to help me with.
When i was happy or enjoying myself, the meanings and true worth of my prayers are just not there. I just did it for the sake of it. sometimes even not doing it. I took things for granted.
i really felt the difference once i tried to understand and put the meanings back. suddenly things are happening. this past week was different.
these past years or so, lot's of things have been neglected. hopefully i can rectify things slowly, bit by bit.
I'm not writing this down just to say i'm good or holier than thou or something. all i want to get across is that it really made a difference once we try and understand things. what we say, what we do. i hope i can remember this and keep it close to my heart. amin.
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