MY ALIBI

at first i checked every tags slowly and carefully. i found nothing. then i double checked. nothing again. all the codings were correct. no unclosed tags or whatnot. then i asked the full time designer next to me. he checked it for quite some time also to no avail.

then i became a little bit frustrated. went out for jumaat prayers. ate lunch. continued to find the solution for the problem. was it something major i did wrong? then tried reading websites about javascripts and such. nothing.

my boss was not in. he went for a meeting with a client somewhere. at around this time, its almost 4-5 hours on the same problem. its now getting more and more frustrating.

then my boss came in. immediately asked him about the problem. he gave a few suggestions to try on. then he continued his work. after about an hour he came back. i still haven't found the error. then he sat down and started checking my codes. at first he asked a few questions. then after a while he became quite. mumbling2 to himself.

i sat next to him watching patiently. i waited for about 1 hour. he deleted half of the codes i typed and redid the whole thing from scratch just to see whats wrong. finally it was revealed.

it was this just one line Padding:20px 0px 20px 0px. He deleted it and it went fine.

"ooo ok javascript accordion ni xleh letak padding. nanti dia lari. saya pun baru tahu ni"

by that time, it was 9.45 pm.

Javascript, u messed up my day.

the only redeeming factor is for this week, i've had nothing but only fantastic dreams. i loved all the dreams i had this week. i was nice! haha ♥

I have a problem when someone said " You are too good for me"

I thought this kind of phrase just appear in movies and dramas

As i comprehend, this is just a lame excuse

When you hear this, its almost an assault to your intelligence

Am I that stupid to you?

Don't beat around the bush anymore

Spill out your beans

Then again, maybe you really aren't good enough, who knows?

It sucks when things that happened years ago still clings onto your memories. Worse though when the same thing i see happening to a few of my friends. It just makes me feel angry and wanna back them up more and more. The situations might be a little bit different, but then again, the main things are all the same.

Time will heal everything im sure. even stupidity and crap decisions.

yoon eun hye, nanun norul joaheyo!

Hi blogs.

Arini barulah rase x penat sgt dan larat nak tulis benda2 kat sini. Banyak gak yang aku terpikir 2 3 minggu kebelakangan ni. kebanyakkanya mase dlm traffic jam. bnyak gak a benda.

First and foremost, the internship period that i looked forward to for a long time. haha.

Wow. gila betul. at first, minggu first tu rase cam nk pecah kepala la. boring campur tension sume ade. bayangkanlah, on the 3rd day of internship, i went back home at 12am. seriously what is that. dlm hati bersumpah seranah maki hamun suma ada. tp aku x tau maki hamun kat sape. hahhaa. dlm hati teringat nak balik je.

As it turned out, i got an internship offer at Metacipta Communications. located at damansara perdana. near the curve. equipped with iMacs and stuff. at first tu rasa cam teruja gak a bleh pakai mac. haha. minggu first suma perasaan tu hancur.

BUT BUT BUT

as of today, its almost the end of the 2nd week, and curiously, i'm starting to get the gist of this thing. cam mula2 complain2 kan. but as i observed more and more, i think i get to know a bit about the personalities of my office mates. and one of them stood out from the rest for me. he's my boss. and also the creative director of the company. he's quite possibly the hardest man to please in terms of design-wise. gile susah nak kasi dia puas hati. not only me, as i still consider myself in the learning process of the ins and outs of the industry. the fulltime designer there also had a hard time making my boss pleased with the end product.

i don't know, but there is something that i admire in him. very fussy, yes i know. but there is something that makes me admire him all the more. the perfectionist attitude in his work. wah. gila babi pnye perfectionist. and he sits there quietly in front of his iMac clicking and typing stuff. and then he stops for a while. he ponders. and then continue on. but when he talks about design and stuff, and when he sees your artwork, don't even begin to think that your work will pass his QC. dia mcm analyze gila gila pnya. tgk satu layout dlm 10 minit mcm tu. diam je. pastu nanti dia akan comment. bagi aku yg newbie ni lg, dia akan point out yang salah2. tp kat designer fulltime tu, dia akan kata "try improve it more". padahal, kerje brader tu mmg dah mantab gile. cam bile aku tgk, xde ape yang silap pn. dah boleh dikatakan kalau kat MMU tu bleh dapat A+ dah kot. tp bile boss tgk, x lepas weh.

dlm 2 minggu ni, aku dah dpt 2 ilmu yg berguna dr dia. this is something not learnt in campus or class. its just something that i was previously completely oblivious about . its about striving for minimalism and the organization of design. the flow of design in everything we do. strive for that perfect balance of design, art and usability. susah bila cuba nak conceptualize kan bende tu bila dah di bagi case dr client. cam idea2 msti yang busuk2 je kluar. yg best2 xde.

so its a challenge. i'm really at the lowest point in terms of experience and knowledge compared to these guys. i'm quite useless right now at every job assigned. nothing i did previously in campus which got me A's and stuff can compare to the real world. its the real thing baby. its a whole new level. but it's still a challenge. i hope to learn a lot and improve. bile pikir2 balik kadang rase semangat jgak. minggu kedua baru terasa semangat. haha.

tp ya Allah penat yg amat. spanjang 2 minggu ni. skali je aku balik sharp pkul 6. yang lain purata 8-9 pm. it sucks. time2 tu la idea mmg dah xde. stamina nk buat kerje pn dah xde. ape kata biarkan saja balik kol 6. esok dtang kerja fresh terus bleh sambung. haha. i think this culture in the company is cultivated by my boss. dia mmg slalu buat kerja sorang2 smpai malam. kite org sume dah balik die still lgi tgh buat kerje. smangat dia mmg terbaek a. lagipun bile dipkir balik, die buat ni utk business die gak. duit die gak. so berbaloi la. aku ni, just nk belajar je. haha. duit masuk pn skit je. tp xpe. berbaloi a dngan pengalaman and knowledge. best bile dpat belajar satu benda baru. hari ni aku dpt belajar skit2 pasal website layout tu, rase sronok plak. smangat smpai rajin tulis blog ni. haha.

dlm masa 4 bulan ni, bile la bleh main futsal lg. lame dah x merasa. harap2 bila2 ada lah smpat bleh men.

sometimes when i look back at things that happened in life, i kinda wish that things do last. nice things. i guess growing up is a fun and sad experience at times mixed up together. in the end you do get something good from it.

finally got something else to look forward to. internship. hopefully from the interviews this coming week i can get a place somewhere. kinda nerve wrecking thinking about what the questions will be. but at the same time i just can't wait to start. i want to meet new people, new experiences, learn and get some satisfaction out of it.

right now i really feel like going out. got some money (finally) and thinking about buying something. but i just don't know what. i don't think i need anything desperately right now. i just want to get out. its soo boring.

i also realized something. lately maybe around 1-2 years till now, i kinda don't care anymore about things happening around me. i don't like hari raya anymore, i did not even care it was new year, merdeka or anything. i don't even feel like celebrating my own birthday. these things became insignificant to me since when i don't know. i think other people do sometimes feel like this also.

it has come to this that when end semester break, when there are no more assignments and deadline to pester me, i become empty. like an empty shell. i seriously don't know what to do. i can't plan to do anything worthwhile. i don't even waste my time on video games anymore. i just sit here in my room and do nothing. i bought a couple of magazines yesterday about design and stuff and just quickly browse through it and i put it down. since yesterday i haven't read it. i don't know. i just don't have any drive at all. all i am thinking rite now is to go for internship. i just don't feel like doing anything else anymore.

i also need to brush up on flash since last year. i havent done it yet. there is something that needs to be done which involves calling some guy about the internet bill that is overdue, and i haven't call him yet. i just hate it when people bring problem to you even though there should absolutely be no problem if they just did what they were supposed to do. just pay the damn bills. how the fuck does that involve me. i'm not even living there anymore. basically there is this guy whose using the internet account using my name at my old apartment in a3. at first i just let it be because one of my friend is still living there. then last month i got a phone call from TM saying there are some overdue payment which amounts to RM468 havent been paid. what the fuck. they basically did not want to pay the bills and let it cumulate till its like half a thousand. and its all on me. fuck. and the shitty thing is, the guy, my friend say is sharing the internet line with another guy next door. how fucked is that. it just makes me so mad. all the while you are enjoying your holidays, then this phonecall came and bam, u are stuck with rm468 charged on your name. i tried to call him twice but his phone was off. tomorrow i'm going to try again. hopefully this all gets settled. i'm going to close the account. hopefully that macha will not be making problems and won't be refusing to pay. he actually collected the money from everyone in the house and keeping it to himself. pay up, ke**ng

that's the thing about these kind of people. they bring problems to others. they just do. i really hope i don't meet with these kind of people again. but surely i will. i'm quite sure of that.

argh just remembering this thing makes me feel kinda worried. what if the macha don't want to pay?

i'm sure everyone gets through problems in life. sometimes i just feel like i'm in really deep shit. but the truth is, other people have bigger problems than me. its just they manage it smartly. i really need to learn how to stop worrying about stupid things. i think i saw a book my father had titled "how to stop worrying and start living". that would be nice if i took the time to read it and really understand the content. i seldom read books nowadays. my attention span is really short.

its really nice to write about stuff that worries you. i feel a bit ok. hopefully everything will be fine. everything usually does. i like a quote from a drama i watched recently.

the guy said "not everything in this world is all bad" something like that. basically he's a really pitiful guy living a sad life. but he soldiers on and takes on an optimistic view of life in front of him.

i like that quote.

i hope life will be fun in the coming years. i hope of a good life. a meaningful life. hopefully i will achieve it. i will surely work hard for it.

i don't have anything in plan for these 3 weeks, so i guess i better brush up on my flash skills before the internship starts. a lot of things happened between the last post and now so i'll just state the best and the biggest thing that did happen.

guess what, i went to Korea! at last. was like a dream come true. on the 13rd of December till 19th. was winter that time. lots of good memories there. first time i experienced winter. and boy what a winter it was. temperatures was constantly sub zero, and on the 4th day in Seoul, it was -12c . It was that cold.

i never thought coldness could feel like that. it was soo cold that i think my hands would just die if i did not wear gloves. and i did wear 2 of them. still felt the cold at my fingertips.

Overall Korea was a nice trip. Beautiful country. Beautiful people. Beautiful culture. i certaintly wish i could go there again. maybe later when i got enough funds.

Anyways, i think i might write further about Korea on latter posts, cos right now got some stuff to do regarding my resume and stuff.